It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
