I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize