you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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