she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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