he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
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