Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
