There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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