yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
