Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
