her facebook's as public as her vagina
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
