Pants 0. Shit 1.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
It's just like the Real World with babies
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
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oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
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I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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