just come out here and I will go home with you...
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
