you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
