Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I want you more than these girls want KFC
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I think my moral compass just broke
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
