New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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