I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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