Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
