I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
