ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
