What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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