im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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