going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
