pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
