You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
