You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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