At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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