i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Randomize
