I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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