What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
