I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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