Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This baby is an asshole
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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