didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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