oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
