My brain says no but my pants say off.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
