They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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