its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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