i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
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