chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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