It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
