yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I am midnight drunk by noon
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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