I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize