and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
third nipple confirmed
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
