Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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