UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
