Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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