So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
You are the jesus of drinking
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
