I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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