hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
