I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
