I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
