This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
