is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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