Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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