yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Blood and glitter go together right?
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
