Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Randomize
