What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
