I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
