I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
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She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
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The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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