people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
