my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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